Tyler's Story

It has been 4 days since my social worker called to tell me Lisa was going to parent Tyler.


When Owen and I received the phone call from Lisa's sister that she was in labor we hurried and got our things together and drove down to Soccorro NM. Before walking into the hospital Owen and I looked at each other anxiously and I said "Okay...are you ready to get on the roller coaster?" Adoption is truly that. It is filled with moments of incredible ups and downs and in this adoption it was a big and long ride. Although we have been selected by 3 other birthmoms that didn't go through before...this has been by far the hardest.



We had been corresponding with Lisa for close to 4 months (3 months before birth, and close to a month after he was born) and we really grew to love her very much and her sister. The hospital was so nice for Owen and I. After Tyler was born they gave us a room to stay in. Lisa wanted us to do everything with Tyler first and we were amazed by her strength. She was smiling it seemed like constantly and told us that she was just so happy for everyone. We took Tyler home from the hospital and was with him for almost two weeks before we got the call that the birthfather was stopping the adoption. There was nothing we could do and had to return Tyler back to his mom. A week went by and the birthfather changed his mind and was willing to relinquish. Lisa said she was still on board with the adoption. While we were anxiously awaiting to get a court date for her to relinguish her rights (yes, in NM they must relinguish infront of a judge while in Utah they only have to sign a paper) days would pass and I knew Lisa was struggling with her decision to place Tyler back in our home. She finally decided to parent. We do not blame her for choosing that after being with Tyler for so many days. When the birthfather changed his mind and wanted to do the adoption I asked Lisa if she thought Tyler should be placed in another's home until the court date or back with us even. She said no that she didn't want Tyler to be taken from our home again if the birthfather backed down. So, therefore there is nothing we could have done differently about the situation.



While still in NM I am going to lobby to get the laws changed here for adoption. It is ridiculous that a judge in Soccorro would not allow the birthparents to relinguish their rights. My question for him is he against adoption or the church? He had full jurisdiction to do this. Finding court dates for relinguishment was sooooo painful. I knew that every day that we still didn't have a court date our chances of getting Tyler back were getting smaller. It should not take weeks for this to happen. If this adoption would have happened in Utah I am convinced Tyler would still be in our home. I don't think we will ever adopt from New Mexico again. (Or, Texas as the birthparents have a year to change their minds).