A week ago I was researching ways that children grieve a loss of a baby in their lives. Some of the things they said are the following:
1. Change in behavior
2. Change in eating
3. Naming something after the baby
So far, Ryder has displayed some behaviors. Whether they are new or not, I'm not certain. :) Even though Ryder had his "moments" of crying/whining I would admit that it has been ALOT of whining and crying lately. So, maybe this relates to his loss maybe it doesn't. I'm not totally sure.
The second change is their eating behavior. Thankfully there has been no change in this one. Usually one of Ryder's favorite things to do is eat! :)
My dear friends from my accounting program at BYU delivered the most beautiful flowers along with the cutest bear. Ryder and I opened it together and Ryder was very cute with the bear. He said "this bear is so cute" and has been sleeping with his bear and monkey for the last couple nights. Yesterday our conversation went as follows:
Ryder: "Mom, can you go get my baby?"
Me: "What and where is your baby?"
Ryder: "My little bear"
Me: "Oh the new little one...okay I'll go find it"
I bring it out to the car and we drive for some time.
Ryder: "Mom...can I name my bear Tyler?"
Me: "Yes, of course you can name your bear Tyler."
There it was! Then it really hit me that poor Ryder was and is grieving the loss of Tyler in his own way. Even though he still asks Owen to include Tyler in their nightly stories, he hasn't talked about Tyler lately so I thought he was almost forgetting. But, maybe he will always remember him just like me.