I was so excited to find a video for this talk by Elder Bednar that was given in Conference April 2005. This was while we were living in NYC and I was truly deeply anguished by our infertility. These days were dark, dark days for me. Much, much, much more darker than this experience. Infertility, miscarriage, or failed adoptions can be unseen heartaches. These are unseen heartaches because they are so personal they are usually not shared during the events. This makes it worse because you feel so alone and it is a period in your life when you need great support.
Until we were officially approved to adopt through LDS Family Services not one of my close friends in NYC knew of my past heartache with infertility. Looking back I know we made the right decision in when to share our adoption plans with our friends.
I am glad I decided to share this failed placement because it has been so comforting to not have to experience this grief, though smaller, alone this time.
This talk changed my life while in NYC. Even in times of complete despair I have witnessed tender mercies from the Lord. I have many, many, and many tender mercies that I am so very thankful for.
Here is the youtube link in case it's to slow feeding in the blog.
Thank you for sharing Camille. My heart is deeply touched by your story as it stirs memories of my own. I love you so much. -rach
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have offered more support when you lived in NYC? You and Owen always seemed so strong and put on such positive facades. I had no idea you were adopting until you went to Arizona and really had no idea about your emotional roller coaster even during your adoption until it was all finalized. I wish I would have paid more attention to what you were going through so I could have offered you more support. I really do care!
ReplyDeleteThis was so sweet Camille. There is such a depth of heartache with infertility that no one can understand unless they have been through it. Unfortunately too many women experience this.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about what a blessing it is to have support. We naively announced our pregnancy on my blog but then miscarried. I was a bit embarrassed, but it ended up being such a blessing in disguise that others knew because we got so much support that truly helped to carry the burden.
I think about you all the time. My heart still is breaking for your family, but I know there are many tender mercies waiting to be given to your cute family. I'm excited to see you today and chat.
Take care,
Bri