Happy Second Month Birthday

Last week my sister and her twin girls came to visit us. It was so needed and felt great to be around her with her girls McKenna and Brianna. It was life the way it was before Tyler and I was amazed how 10 or even 30 minutes would go by without me thinking of Tyler. Every day is getting better but things natually remind me of him and I know with time I will get over this loss. Maybe not ever completely, but enough for me to continue living a happy life.

I'm very grateful for my sisters. My twin and I share a special bond. During her stay we each shared a tear or two. She is a remarkable example of living life with a postive attitude despite life's obstacles. Her twins were born early and are both special needs children. McKenna just started walking at age three. We are so proud of her! She is a very determined little girl. We don't know yet if she will ever be able to run, but it is truly a miracle that she is even walking. Brianna is nonverbal and has some major eye sight problems. My sister thinks she has a type of autism. She is so beautiful, sweet, and has such a special spirit. I was able to hold her and I felt her love and Heavenly Father's love so strong through her. It was like she was telling me "It will be okay Camille." We are very lucky to have those girls in our family. McKenna, Brianna, and Ryder have such a special relationship. Without a doubt I know they knew each other before coming to earth. The connection between them is so strong. They love each other SO much!

It was so sad when they left. Even Ryder was very sad. He told me he didn't want to live in New Mexico anymore and that he wanted to move to Utah.

When they left Tyler's memories came back strong again and particularly tonight as his second month birthday is tomorrow. I wonder if every birthday of Tyler's if Lisa won't remember us at the hospital taking care of all of Tyler's firsts. I was able to sleep with him at the hospital on his first night he was born. I wonder if mom's remember their delivery on their childrens birthday? I think of Darianne, Ryders birthmom all day long on Ryder's birthdays. It would seem that Lisa will always remember us on his birthday as we were there in the hospital so involved...but maybe not...who knows?

I do miss him tonight. Shortly after we lost Tyler I found a new song that Jewel wrote about loss. It reminds me of Tyler. I will try to post it next.

Luckily tomorrow we have a very busy day to keep my mind off him. Ryder has a pancake party at his preschool, I have a baby shower for my sweet friend who lost Bennett after he was born and her second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage (she is a true example that the sun will shine again), Ryder's friend has a birthday party, and Owen is the ortho surgeon for a hockey team tomorrow night so we will be watching some hockey and BYU Football, and I look forward to watching the general relief society broadcast after we get home. I love DVR, and BTW my favorite TV show is Modern Family. I highly recommend you start watching. We just received Season 1 from netflix and it is hilarious!!